First off, I like to say that this past year has been... GREAT!
Really, I had everything, really honest happy times, there where moments that I was overwhelming by great feelings, I like the fact that I prove to myself that waiting is worth it sometimes.
Is great to have an honest smile in my face, not that hypocritical look in the face that one has to put every time someone asks "how are you?" pff!
So this year had a lot of UP's in different times, places, moments, with different people that's what so great about this year, it had so much!, the variety of situations that I been... is a really good sign how can I be...

It also had a lot of nothing moments, where nothing really happen, and I had no expectations, no ambitions, just plain nothing , didn't felt bad about it, didn't bother me, but I mention this now because unlike an immediate past, I did thought about it, and amazed me the fact that I actually didn't care...

Another thing that happen to me this year, is that I grow up, I mature, and one way is that now I'm convince that I can control a lot more my feelings, it cost me, but I actually can, I see now what's ahead of me, I see how is the situation, and lately, I choose to play... to experiment, sometimes I felt kinda bad for my "subject of study", but hey, nothing is free in this life...

This year had as well good old FUCR times, didn't took me by surprise, I saw them before they came and I simply embrace them, I embrace my destiny since the beginning, I knew that I was on denial and I act in hope that I could be wrong, which I wasn't of course, but what did took me by surprise was the low point that I hit this past year/semester, I hit the lowest depressing point I ever had, and it wasn't a moment, it was a period that lasted long enough to let me know that wasn't a momentary thing, is just part of me:
I know now, that without something that can hold me on... well let's just say that I know how I'm going to die...
I have talk about my low points in the past, but I realize that I'm attach to my depression, without something that helps me past the days, even if I don't care in the beginning, is a path to a depressive time, those that I love and hate at the same time...

I thing the most important thing about this year, is that I now know myself and I accept and embrace myself, my few goods, my abundant horrible lows and downs and bads, I now musically reflect how far I come, I'm not afraid anymore of what other people think (although I might care), I know that I can show whatever me I want, and I'm good at it.


PD: I think I might add something later...